翻译:白羽黑鹭 英语字幕来源：tvsubtitles.net
消消气
好吧 事情是这样的 Okay, here's the thing.
我不想做这个剧了 我就是不想做下去了 l just don't want to do this show. l just don't want to do it anymore.
我失去做这个的热情了 l've lost enthusiasm for it.
我对它没有激动的感觉了... l just don't feel jazzed about it...
我也有点受够了 and l've kind of had it.
我们干脆就别搞这个了 So let's just walk away from this.
真是太多头疼事 我已经精疲力竭了 好吗 lt's just too much of a headache and l'm utterly exhausted, okay?
我不敢相信你这么说 l can't believe you're saying this.
这是个很棒的点子啊 多棒的点子 lt's such a great idea. lt's a great idea.
不 我知道 杰夫 我知道这是个好点子 那不是问题所在 No, I know, Jeff, I know it's a great idea. That's not what the issue is.
问题 老实说的话 一直是你 拉里 The problem, quite honestly, has been you, Larry.
嗯 Yeah.
我是说 这事从头到尾简直一塌糊涂 l mean, it's just been a fiasco from start to finish.
看上去你走到哪麻烦就跟到哪 lt just seems that trouble seems to be following you.
他也只是局势的受害者 He's a victim of circumstance.
好吧 他不是局势的受害者 大伙... Okay, it's his not being a victim of circumstance, guys...
而且 你知道的... 拉儿 哎 and, you know.... Lar, come on.
这简直成笑话了 我受不了了 This has been a joke, it's been too much.
我不知道该说什么 很遗憾你是这么认为的 l don't know what to say, l'm sorry that you feel that way.
- 太可惜了 因为大家都很喜欢这点子 -嗯 大家都很爱它 -lt's a shame, because everyone loves it. -Yeah, everyone loves it.
是那之后出的事才是问题 但 lt's what's gone on after that's been the problem, but...
如果我们要继续 现在我们还能去找谁 lf we were to continue, where would we even go at this point?
我们还能去哪 Where would we even go?
我们还有什么选择 CBS? What are our choices here, CBS?
- CBS - 福斯? -CBS. -Fox?
-不 福斯不行 我不喜欢他们的政策 - 我的意见是去CBS -No, not Fox, I don't like their politics. -CBS is where l'd like to go with it.
你的意思呢 来吧 我们去CBS What do you say? Come on, we'll do CBS...
只是这太累人了 我筋疲力尽了 lt's just that it's tiring. This has been tiring.
从现在开始他会包一切的 他什么都做 He's gonna do it all from now on. He will do it all.
下一次开会 你一句话都不用说 At the next meeting, you don't even have to say a word.
- 我来推销这个剧 行吗? -真的吗? -l'll pitch the whole show, okay? -Really?
你来都不用来 我能卖出去的 You don't even have to come and l'll sell it.
等着剧本摆在你面前 整件事你都不用管 Just divorce yourself from the whole thing until there's a script in front of you.
好吧？ OK？
- 一切都是你做吗 -一切都归我做 -You are gonna do all of it? -l will do the whole thing.
- 整场推销 - 对 整场推销 -The whole pitch. -Yeah, the whole pitch.
来吧 再来一次 Come on, one more shot.
哦 天啊 好吧 CBS Oh, my God, all right, CBS.
CBS.
- 刚才有点险啊 -嗯 你知道的 我就知道我们能拿下她们 -That was a little dicey. -Yeah, you know, I knew we had them.
- 你是吗 -嗯 -Did you? -Yeah.
她们需要保障 我认为 对吗? They needed reassurance, I think, right?
她们需要保障 就是这样的 They needed reassurance, that's completely what it was.
“我是个贼”
- 别盯着看 走吧 - 哦 天啊 看看这个 -Don't stare, come on. -Oh, my God, look at that.
我刚在报纸上读过 这个叫"红字惩罚" l just read about that in the paper. lt's called ''scarlet-letter punishment.''
"红字惩罚"? ''Scarlet-letter punishment''?
-可怜人 -嗯 -Poor guy. -Yeah.
-拉里 -瑞克 你好吗? -Larry! -Rick, how you doing?
- 好 - 好 -Good! -Good.
你认识那人? You know that guy?
他在餐厅工作 莫霍 就在你酒店里 He works at the restaurant, Moho, in your hotel.
W酒店 The W Hotel.
你为什么没和他打招呼? 你认识他的 Why didn't you say hello to him? You know him.
他想让我停步谈 我不想停步谈 He wanted to do a stop-and-chat. l didn't want to do a stop-and-chat.
"停步谈"? 你哪想出来的这些东西 ''Stop-and-chat?'' Where do you come up with these things?
他想让我停下谈两句 而我和他没那么熟 He wanted to stop and chat with me and I don't know him that well.
"嗨 你好吗 见到你真好 保重 再见" ''Hi, how are you? Nice to see you. Take care, bye.''
不 比那还多 对于他 我说你好就够了 No, it's more than that. For him, all I need to do is say hello...
这样有点无礼 That was kind of rude.
这不叫无礼 我不是非要停步谈 That was not rude. l don't have to do a stop-and-chat.
你总有这些规矩和术语 "停步谈" You always have rules and phrasings, ''stop-and-chat.''
拉里 你能帮我们塞点信封吗 Larry, would you like to help us stuff some envelopes?
-不 -是吗? -No. -Really?
-没想到 没想到 -真让我吃惊呢 -Surprise, surprise. -That shocks me.
猜猜我要去见谁 Guess who l'm going to see.
- 谁 -金 -Who? -Kim.
做指甲的金还是做灵媒的金 Kim nails or Kim psychic?
- 做灵媒的金 -什么? -Kim psychic. -What?
- 嗯 我太激动了 -你又要回去找那个灵媒了? -Yes, l'm so excited. -You're going back to that psychic?
对 金 我一直打电话... Yeah, to Kim. I kept calling...
终于她说某个人取消了预约 and finally she said that somebody cancelled their appointment.
上次 她说的太准了 Last time, she was dead on.
对 她很棒 She's great. Yeah.
她告诉谢丽儿高尔夫我会打出一杆进洞... She told Cheryl that I was gonna get a hole in one in golf...
我就打了个一杆进洞 and I got a hole in one.
太神奇了 简直是魔力 That's amazing, she's almost magical.
她还和谢丽儿说我会在夏威夷不开心... She also told Cheryl l was gonna have a bad time in Hawaii...
- 我也确实是 但 你知道的... -但那不是... -which I did, but, you know.... -But that wasn't so....
只有你会去夏威夷不开心 Only you could have a bad time in Hawaii.
嗯 谁都能想到 Yeah, anybody could've predicted that.
还有她说我的一位朋友会怀孕 凯莉... And she said that one of my friends was gonna get pregnant, Carrie...
她甚至连名字都说出来了 之后她怀孕了... and she even said the name and she's pregnant...
她就要生孩子了 她家都很开心 and she's gonna have a baby, and they're so happy.
- 难以置信啊 这多奇怪? - 她真神了 都有点吓人了 -lt's unbelievable. How weird is that? -She's amazing. She's spooky.
你知道我喜欢她哪一点吗? You know what I like about her?
有些坏事 她不会不说 她会告诉你 嗯 Stuff that's bad, she doesn't hold back. She'll tell you. Yeah.
因为有许多灵媒 她们不会说这些坏事 'Cause a lot of psychics, they hold back on the bad stuff.
谁会花钱来听一堆坏事? Who's gonna pay to hear a bunch of bad shit?
没有人想听那个 Nobody want to hear that.
你敢信吗?他们在搞什么? Do you believe this? What the hell are they doing?
快打啊 Putt it.
每个洞... Every hole...
他们都斟酌怎么打好 从前看 从后看 they line up putts, from the front, from the back.
走来走去 They walk around.
他们是赌了几千块吗?快点啊 Are they playing for thousands of dollars? Come on.
- 我懂 - 我这轮都打了五小时了 -l know. -l've got a five-hour round here.
- 没事的 - 没事? -We're fine. -We're fine?
- 放松点 - 我放松不了 -Enjoy yourself. -l can't enjoy myself.
他们又感受不到你的压力 好吗 They can't feel your tension, okay?
是你绷的太紧了 You're just all wired up.
知道吗?我认识个按摩师 You know what? I got a masseuse.
这周末你去见她吧 我请你 This weekend you're gonna see her, my treat.
你绷太紧了 You're just all tense.
你需要放松 明显打高尔夫你不能放松 You need to relax, 'cause golf doesn't relax you.
前边是这种打一杆一年的你怎么放松? How can you relax if these guys take a year like this?
你说的对 You're right.
那 我请客 So, my treat.
很抱歉 他们都在那一年了 Sorry about this, they're taking a year up there.
没问题 别担心 No problem, don't worry about it.
- 我和你说 -好 好 我会去的 -l'm telling you... -All right, fine, l'll get it.
终于 他们打完了 Finally, they're done.
有人看着我打不好 你知道的 就是不行 l can't hit in front of an audience. You know, I just can't.
- 就在那 有感觉吗 -嗯 那是个痛点 -Right there, what's that? -Yeah, that's a bad spot.
好 深呼吸就好 我们一起 好吗 Yeah, let's try to breathe through it, okay, together?
- 好点了吗 -不 没有 -ls that better? -No, not really.
你知道的 有时候 身体是有记忆的... You know, sometimes, the body has a memory...
它会记住儿时的创伤事件 and it holds on to traumatic events from our childhood.
你认为这里可能和什么在你身上发生过的事有关吗 And do you think this might relate to anything that may have happened to you?
我母亲把我往砖墙上扔过... My mother did throw me against a brick wall...
那时我还是个孩子 也许和那... when I was an infant. Maybe that had...
- 真的吗 - 嗯 -Really? -Yeah.
我那次一点都没受伤 l didn't get hurt at all.
嗯 Yeah.
你和她谈过这件事吗? And have you ever talked to her about this, maybe?
嗯 我和她说过几次 Yeah, l've mentioned it to her a couple of times.
- 她不觉得愧疚吗? - 她说我当时是个小混蛋 -She's okay with that? -Yeah, she said I was a little prick.
- 你的气感觉如何 - 很好 是很棒的气 -How's your chi? -lt's good, it's delicious chi.
畅通无阻的时候身体会感觉好很多 The whole body does better when there's no blockages anywhere.
你感觉如何? How are you feeling?
- 不错 - 是吧? -All right. -Yeah?
你想让我给你弄完吗? Would you like me to finish you off?
好 Okay.
热 Hot.
停 Stop.
- 停 -停? -Stop. -Stop?
停 Stop.
你还好吗? Are you okay?
我是说如果他能找来杰西卡帕克... l'm just saying if he gets Sarah Jessica Parker...
来做我们剧的嘉宾 那就太棒了 to do a guest shot on our show, it would be great.
- 麦克 - 兄弟 你好吗 -Mike. -How are you, man?
很高兴见到你 Good to see you.
- 很高兴见到你 - 当然了 -Good to see you. -Absolutely.
- 当然了 怎么了？ -这是... -Absolutely. What's going on? -ls this...
- 怎么了? - 怎么了? -What's going on? -What's going on?
怎么了？天啊你脑子是不是有问题？ What's going on? What in the God's name is wrong with you?
- 你疯了 -你们想要我出去等吗? -You're nuts. -You want me to wait outside?
不 我不想让你出去等 我想让你听着 好吗? No, I don't want you to wait outside. l want you to hear this, okay?
- 好 -他让我去找按摩师... -Okay. -He sends me to a masseuse...
之后 你知道的 四十五分钟过后 我躺着呢... and, you know, after 45 minutes, l'm on my back...
她说"你想让我给你弄完吗?" she says, ''Do you want me to finish you off?''
我就说"好啊" And I go, ''Okay.''
我根本不知道她说的是什么! l don't know what the hell she's talking about!
我以为她弄弄我的脖子就完了 l think she'll work more on my neck and that'll be it!
之后她把手伸到床单下 开始做活塞运动 Then she puts her hand under the sheets and starts pumping away.
等一下 你在开我的玩笑吗? Wait a minute, are you messing around with me?
不 我没明白她说的是什么 No, I didn't know what she was talking about.
这是恶作剧吗?因为我剧里的人物去找按摩师... ls this a gag? 'Cause my character goes to a masseuse...
按摩师也想他好好收个尾 who wants to give him a happy ending.
- 在你剧里有吗 -你不看我的剧吗? -That happened on your show? -You don't watch my show?
- 你不看吗 -不看 -You don't? -No.
- 我不该说的 好吧? -抱歉 剧怎么样了 -l put my foot in my mouth, all right? -l'm sorry, how's the show going?
- 你又不看 操什么心? -我只是好好谈话而已 -You don't watch it, why do you care? -l'm just making conversation.
那也是我不跟着你说的原因 That's why l'm not throwing it back your way.
- 你享受吗 - 我叫停了 -Did you enjoy it? -l stopped it.
你什么意思?谁会叫停打飞机? What do you mean? Who stops a whack-off?
- 我在十二下之后就叫停了 - 难怪你还这么绷着 -l stopped it after 12 pumps. -No wonder you're still uptight.
你要么就一下都不要 要么就弄个一千下 You either do zero pumps or a thousand pumps.
我不清楚我是怎么做到的 l don't know how I did it.
你是怎么做到的?你怎么想的? How did you do that? What did you summon?
我不清楚我怎么做到的 l don't know how I did it.
如果我弄十二下就停了 我会告诉我妻子 lf I stopped at 12 pumps, l would tell my wife.
我会回家说"宝贝 我做按摩的时候..." l'd go home and say, ''Honey, I was getting a massage...
"我被撸了十二下 我就叫停了 因为我爱你" ''and I took 12 pumps and I stopped 'cause I love you.''
- 我是不会告诉她的 -我会的 -l will never ever tell her. -l would.
如果你妻子发现的话 你也是个高尚的人 你叫停了 And if your wife ever finds out, you're a noble man, you made it stop.
她不会知道的 别想了 She's not gonna find out, don't worry about it.
好吧 All right.
哦 天啊 Oh, my God.
她今天有个预约... She's got an appointment with...
是和那个灵媒的 that psychic today.
- 那个一杆进洞的灵媒吗? - 我和你说过吗? -The hole-in-one psychic? -l told you about that?
嗯 Yeah.
那个灵媒和他妻子说他会打个一杆进洞 他就做到了 The psychic told his wife he would hit a hole in one, and he did.
- 灵媒还知道这种事吗? - 她就知道一杆进洞 -Could a psychic know something like that? -She knew hole in one.
你最好别让她去了 You better stop her from going.
- 拉里 很高兴见到你 - 很高兴见到你 麦克 -Larry, good seeing you. -Good to see you, Mike.
别忘了CBS的会 Don't forget the CBS meeting.
今天 CBS 嗯 到那见 别迟到了 CBS today, yeah, l'll see you there. Don't be late.
她很棒 你想要她的电话吗 She's great, do you want her number?
- 当然了 - 好 -Absolutely. -Good.
- 谢丽儿 - 嗯 我在上边 -Cheryl? -Yes, l'm up here!
- 嗨 -嗨 -Hi. -Hi.
- 你的按摩怎么样 -不错 -How was your massage? -Good.
好 你猜怎么?我为咱们今晚做安排了 Good. Guess what? l have made plans for us tonight.
- 我们要去庆祝你CBS的买卖 - 都还没 -We're gonna celebrate your CBS deal. -lt's not even...
听着 我订了辆豪车来接我们 Listen, I have a limo that's gonna pick us up.
它会带我们去W酒店的莫霍吃晚饭 lt's gonna take us to Moho for dinner at the W Hotel.
之后如果我们有兴趣的话... And then if we're feeling frisky...
我们可以在那待一整晚 想做什么都行 then we can stay all night, do whatever we want.
我碰到管那地方的人了 瑞克克莱恩 l saw that guy who manages the place, Rick Crane.
我有一天在街上碰到他 之后我没停步谈 l ran into him on the street the other day and I didn't do a stop-and-chat.
他想停下说两句 我就接着走了... He wanted to stop and talk, and I just kept walking...
但我打招呼了 但确实可能有点尴尬 but I said hello, but it could be a little touchy.
你为什么不停下? Why didn't you stop?
搞这些停步谈太尴尬也太糟糕了 lt's too awkward and horrible to do those stop-and-chats.
别想了 是我就不会担心的 Don't worry about it. l wouldn't worry about it.
- 我们可能都不会碰到他 - 我们今天要和CBS开会 -We probably won't even run into him. -We have the meeting with CBS today.
事情还没成呢 我甚至都不知道 lt's not a done deal or anything. l don't even know...
算了 和成了一样啊 是吧? Come on, it's as good as done, right?
你看到我的钥匙了吗?我和灵媒预约了 Have you seen my keys? l have an appointment with the psychic.
我有点晚了 我找到了 l'm actually running late. I got them.
- 好吧 之后见 - 宝贝 我有更好的主意 -All right, I will see you later. -Honey, I got a better idea.
- 什么? - 我们玩一玩 -What? -Let's fool around.
现在吗?听着 我有预约了 Right now? Listen, I have an appointment.
别管灵媒了 我们玩一玩 Forget the psychic. Let's fool around.
花了我好久才预约上的 不 现在不行! lt took me a long time to get this. No, not right now!
我说不就不! No means no!
天啊 不行 等今晚吧! God, no, save it for tonight!
拉里 不行 听着 我得走了 Larry, no. Listen, I have got to get going.
- 你会害我迟到的 - 我有个肿瘤 -You're gonna make me late. -l've got a lump.
我怕她会告诉你! l'm afraid she's gonna tell you about it!
你听到我说的话了吗?我要死了! Do you hear what l'm saying? l'm dying!
这就是剧的名字《这不艾芙琳嘛?》 And that's the name of the show.: Aren't you Evelyn?
我喜欢它的新奇 因为很有趣 但也有点怪诞 l like the edge of it because it's funny, but it's a little quirky, too.
这都是拉里的点子 他来我办公室和我讲的... This is all Larry's idea. He came to my office and pitched it...
我当时就觉得这太棒了 and I immediately just thought it was superb.
还有 拉儿 嘿? And, Lar, hello?
在吗?我们推销呢 Hello? We're pitching.
她问你需要水或者咖啡什么的了吗? Did she offer you coffee or water or something?
她说了 我不需要 或许你想来杯浓缩咖啡? She did. I don't want any, but perhaps you'd like an espresso?
- 我们能给你做杯拿铁 - 我不用了 谢谢你 -We can make you a latte here. -l'm okay, thank you.
- 好吧 - 你知道的... -All right. -You know, the thing that's hard...
演这么火的剧最难的是... about having been on a successful show...
是尽管它很棒... is that it's great...
但每个人都把我当成伊莲 but everybody identifies me with Elaine.
好 举个例子说... Okay, so for instance...
最近 我和我的家人在杰克逊洞滑雪 recently, I was skiing with my family in Jackson Hole.
我当时带着头盔 护目镜... And I was wearing the helmet, the goggles...
穿着那种包装一样的衣服 浑身是雪 什么的... the big, baggy clothes, covered in snow, blah, blah, blah....
我看到你的丈夫拉里了 l see your husband Larry.
- 嗯 他去做按摩了 - 对 -Yeah, he getting a massage. -Right.
他做的可不止是按摩 He getting more than just a massage.
他十分开心呢 He's very happy.
嗯 他在和她的手发生关系! Yeah, he having sex with her hand!
她撸了三十二下 之后... She pump 32 times, then....
这个是个例子 你觉得如何? So, that is an example, don't you think?
拉里 这是不是个好例子... Larry, isn't that a good example...
- 表示... - 比如说滑雪的事 -of trying to.... -Like the skiing thing.
- 她滑雪时候的事 - 不 我刚说了这个 -Like, when she was skiing. -No, that's just what I said.
我知道 她在滑雪的时候出了这个问题 l know. She was skiing and then she had the problem.
不 我说过了 那 No, I said that, so...
这种情况会出现在剧里 Situations like that are gonna come up on the show.
- 就像这样的 - 嗯 我很激动你们能来这里 -Just like that. -So, l'm thrilled that you're here.
- 当然 我是你们两个的大粉丝 - 谢谢你 -l'm a huge fan of both of you, obviously. -Thank you.
而且我喜欢你的点子... And I love your idea...
我们会很高兴和你们合作的 and we would love to be in business with you.
棒 很棒 太棒了! Great, terrific, fantastic!
进一步联系那些选角什么的 你知道的 Talk further about casting and further, you know.
我有事得走了 之后再见 l've kind of gotta take off, l'll see you soon.
- 谢谢你 -很高兴见到你 -Thank you. -Nice to see you.
我们再联系 We'll be in touch.
怎么样了? How did it go?
还不错 我觉得... lt went well, I think...
我觉得他们真的很喜欢这个剧 我觉得... l think they really liked the show. I think...
我觉得他们想做这个剧的 l think they want to do it.
你不问问我的预约怎么样了吗? Aren't you gonna ask me how my appointment went?
对了 灵媒 怎么样? Right, the psychic. How did it go?
我都知道了 拉里 l know everything, Larry.
我知道发生什么了 l know what happened.
发生什么了?你什么意思 "发生什么了"? What happened? What do you mean, ''What happened''?
发生什么了 发生什么了? What happened, what happened?
你在说什么 有发生什么了吗? What are you talking about, did something happen?
- 嗯 -发生什么了? -Yeah. -What happened?
你有外遇了 That you're having an affair.
我没有外遇! l'm not having an affair!
我都知道了 她和我说了 l know about it, she told me about it.
她和你说什么?她和你说什么了?简直是疯了! She told you what? What did she tell you? That's insane!
她说你和一个女人有外遇 她有红色长发... She said that you're having an affair with a woman with long, red hair...
还有一颗星星的纹身 and a tattoo of a star.
我没碰过别的女人 这太荒唐了 l have not touched another woman, that's ridiculous.
- 我没有任何外遇! - 你没有搞外遇 -l'm not having any affair! -You're not having an affair.
- 没有 - 她干嘛要编这样的事? -No. -Why would she make up a story like that?
我不知道她为什么 可能她反犹吧 l don't know why she would. Maybe she's an anti-Semite.
我不这么想 l don't think so.
- 你不这么想吗? - 不 -You don't think so? -No.
我很确定有不少反犹的韩国人 l'm sure there's some Korean anti-Semites.
她不是韩国人 She's not Korean.
她是美国人 She's American.
她是美国人?你不是说她的名字是金吗 She's American? l thought you said her name was Kim.
她的名字是金 Her name is Kim.
那不是重点 This is not the point.
重点是她和我说你有外遇这件事 The point is that she told me this whole thing about you having an affair.
- 她错了 - 她看上去很确定 -She's wrong. -She seemed very sure of it.
不 那不是真的 我没有搞外遇 我没有碰过别的女人 No, it's not true. l'm not having an affair. l have never touched another woman.
从来没有... Never ever...
一直以来 ever, ever.
如果你有外遇的话 你也会撒谎的 是吧? lf you were having an affair, you'd probably lie about it, wouldn't you?
我猜我会吧 l would imagine I would.
那我怎么知道你现在不是在撒谎? Then how do I know that this just isn't a lie?
因为我刚和你说了实话 Because if I just told you the truth about that...
这就代表我是个可信的人... it means that l'm just a truthful person
什么事都和你说真话 who would tell you the truth about anything.
没有外遇 抱歉了 No affair, sorry.
- 你保证 - 谁会和我搞外遇? -Promise. -Who's gonna have an affair with me?
我又不是个酷人 得够酷才能搞这个 l'm not a cool guy. You gotta be cool to do that.
- 那倒是 - 我做不来的 -That's true. -l couldn't do that.
我不知道怎么搞 我能干嘛? l won't know how, what would I do?
我不知道 你不会擅长就是了 l don't know, you won't be good at it.
我花了六个月才和你有一点进展 lt took me six months to even put a move on you.
我知道 l know.
她没说关于我健康的事 是吧? She didn't say anything about my health, right?
- 没有 - 算了 -No. -Come on.
真的 Seriously.
我知道 因为我本来计划好了整晚 l know, because I had this whole night planned for us...
我们今晚还是可以好好过 来吧 我想这样 我们得庆祝 We'll still have a great night. Come on, I want to, we're gonna celebrate.
- 我成功了 CBS 好吧！ - 我知道 -l got the thing, CBS, come on! -l know.
算了吧 别听她的胡话 Come on, don't listen to this nonsense.
- 谢谢你 - 不客气 -Thank you. -You're very welcome.
- 你不用这么做 我来吧 - 让我来 这是我的工作 -You don't have to do that, I got it. -l got it, it's my job.
那你现在干什么? So what are you gonna do now?
- 我就在车里 - 你在车里等吗? -l'll be in the car. -You're waiting in the car?
我就在车里等 等你们出来 l'll be waiting in the car. l'll wait for you.
- 好 我们会待几个小时 我猜 - 那很棒 -Okay, we'll be a couple of hours, I guess. -That's great.
- 好吗? - 没事的 正常的 -All right? -That's fine, that's how it works.
- 谢谢你 你们享受晚餐 - 好 我们会的 -Thank you. You guys enjoy your meal. -Great, we're going to.
- 你在这没事吧? - 没事的 -You'll be all right here? -l'll be fine.
好 谢谢你 Okay, thank you.
看看这大小 你为什么订一辆加长豪车? 太大了 Look at the size, why'd you get a stretch limo? lt's gigantic.
- 因为我们是在庆祝 - 我知道 但我们订一辆豪车就够了 -'Cause we're celebrating. -l know, but we could've got a town car.
但那表示不了我们在庆祝 But that doesn't say we're celebrating.
- 这是什么? - 排个小队 -What is this? -A little bit of a line.
- 我才不会等这个呢 - 等着轮到你吧 -l'm not gonna wait for this. -Just wait your turn.
我开玩笑的 你怎么了? 以为我会把他们都挤开吗? l'm joking, what's the matter with you? l'm gonna push them out of the way.
- 我可说不准 - 晚上好 -You don't know sometimes. -Good evening.
- 嗨 很高兴见到你 - 很荣幸您能在这用餐 -Hi, so nice to see you. -So glad you could join us.
- 谢谢你 很高兴见到你 - 还好吗? -Thank you. Nice to meet you. -How's it going?
好 Good.
- 我带你们就座 - 好 -l'll seat you myself. -Great.
- 这边请 - 谢谢你 -Right this way. -Thank you.
- 我希望你们喜欢这个位子 - 当然 谢谢你 -l hope this table's to your liking. -Sure, thank you.
- 很棒 谢谢你 - 不客气 -Very good, thank you. -My pleasure.
- 这有点冷 - 嗯 可不是吗? -A little chilly in here. -Yeah, isn't it?
- 这太棒了 - 你听见他说的了吗? -This is lovely. -Did you hear this guy?
你观察到发生的事了吗? Have you been catching on what's going on here?
- 发生什么了? - 就是他 到底怎么了? -What's going on here? -With this guy, what's going on?
他一直在冷落我 He's been completely snubbing me.
甚至都没点遮掩 简直荒唐 谢谢你 lt's not even subtle, it's ridiculous. Thank you.
- 嗨 等下我来点你们的饮品 - 好 谢谢 -Hi, l'll be back for your drink order. -Okay, thanks.
你得停下和别人说话 因为实在是有很多信息要交流 You gotta stop and talk to people like there's so much information to exchange.
"你好 怎么样了?" "你好吗?" "好" ''Hello, how you doing?'' ''How are you?'' ''Good.''
"你最近如何" "不错" ''How's it going with you?'' ''Good.''
"好 没事的" ''Okay, take it easy.''
你是要点个前菜还是直接点主菜? Are you gonna get an appetizer or are you going straight to the main dish?
我不知道 l don't know.
我们要拿那个司机怎么办 就让他在车里坐几小时吗? What'll we do about that driver, let him sit in the car for the next couple of hours?
他晚上就这样吗? That's his night?
这就是他有钱拿的原因 他在那坐着 等人 不是份坏差使 That's why he gets paid, he sits there and waits. lt's not a bad job.
我知道 但我看他就在那等着我不舒服 l know. But l'm uncomfortable with him just sitting out there waiting for us.
我感觉我必须得抓紧 你懂吗? l feel like I have to hurry, you know?
你过去不是开豪车的吗? Didn't you used to drive a limo?
你不是也要等吗?你必须得等 Did you do waiting? You had to wait.
嗯 我知道 我当时讨厌死了 Yeah, I know, and I hated it.
我决定这是我最喜欢的餐厅 l've decided that this is my favorite restaurant.
- 真的很棒 不是吗 - 虾太棒了 我忘不了 -lt's really good, isn't it? -The shrimp is so good, I can't get over it.
虾是很棒 但我讨厌一直点一样的东西 Shrimp are great, but I hate ordering the same thing.
- 你什么意思? - 我们都点了一样的东西 -What do you mean? -We both got the same dish.
为什么? 点了不一样的我也不会给你吃 Why? I wouldn't give you any of mine if I had something different.
我们要操心 叫什么 格雷格 那司机的晚饭吗? What are we gonna do about dinner for, what's his name, Greg, the driver?
我们应该给他买点晚饭吗?我不知道该做什么 Should we buy him dinner? l don't know what to do.
- 豪车那个人? - 嗯 -The limo guy? -Yeah.
我们还得说多少格雷格的事? How many times are we gonna talk about Greg?
他会饿的 我们该给他点晚饭吃吗? He'll be hungry. Should we order a dinner for him?
不 我觉得已经太晚了 No, I think it's too late for that.
我还有点剩下的 不然我就给他打包点 l got some leftovers here. Maybe l'll just get him a doggie bag or something.
这样不好吗?我又不是非得吃这两只虾 ls that bad? l don't have to eat these two shrimp.
你要吃你那只虾吗? 你最后一只虾? Are you gonna finish that shrimp? Your last shrimp?
对 我要吃完 谢谢 Yes, I am gonna finish that, thank you.
天 我都快吃饱了 你还比我多吃一只 Boy, l'm almost full already. And you're a shrimp ahead of me.
你怎么想的 你会吃吗 What do you think, are you gonna eat that?
不 我要把它给豪车司机 No, l'm gonna give it to the limo driver.
你不用非得这样 你想吃完 就吃吧 You don't have to, you want to finish it, go ahead.
- 不 我不想吃了 - 吃吧 -No, I don't want it now. -Go ahead...
不 我告诉你我吃饱了 No, l'm telling you l'm done.
- 我给你弄了点吃的 - 太棒了 谢谢你 -l got you some food. -That's great, thanks.
太谢谢你了 Thank you so much.
嗯 里边有几只虾还有... Yeah, there's some shrimp in there and....
就是 剩饭是吗? Just, like, leftovers?
那有虾还有... There's shrimp and....
里边还有点饭 但我一点都没碰虾 There's some rice in there. But I didn't touch any of the shrimp.
我很小心的把米分开了 是干净的 很棒的 l divided the rice very carefully. lt's all clean, it's all good.
我该怎么吃?没有叉子 没有纸巾 How am I supposed to eat? There's no fork, there's no napkin.
- 我吃不了 - 我很抱歉 我忘了拿叉子了 -l can't eat this. -l'm sorry, I forgot the fork.
我回去... l'll go....
- 我回去给你拿叉子和纸巾 - 好 那就好 -l'll go get you a fork and a napkin. -All right. That'd be great.
- 抱歉 - 没事的 -Sorry. -That's fine.
我们应该给他点晚餐的 We should've got the guy a dinner.
这样给他剩饭吃 简直是疯了 Giving him leftovers like that, that was crazy.
你给他东西他就该感激了 He should be happy that you got him something.
- 坐下吧 亲爱的 - 我得给他拿个叉子 -Just sit down, honey. -l gotta get him a fork.
我没给他叉子 l didn't give him a fork.
- 你还没吃你的派吗? - 我等你呢 -You haven't even eaten your pie yet? -l'm waiting for you.
好 我去把叉子给他 我马上就回来 Okay. l'll give him a fork, l'll be right back.
- 你还要出去? - 我得给他把叉子 -You're going back out there? -l gotta give the guy a fork.
我马上回来 好吗?我马上回来 l'll be right back, okay? l'll be right back.
拉里 你好吗? Larry, how's it going?
- 食物太棒了 - 好 -The food was sensational. -Excellent.
嗯 真的太美味了 Yeah, really spectacular.
好 你介意和我说你口袋里是什么吗? Wonderful, do you mind telling me what you got in your pocket?
- 一支笔 - 我说的是另一个口袋 -A pen. -l was thinking of the other pocket.
我拿了个叉子还有纸巾 l got a napkin and a fork.
外边有个司机 There's a driver outside.
不好意思这么说 Pardon me for suggesting this...
但看上去你要拿着我们的餐具出门 ...but it seems like you're walking out with our silverware.
我是 某种意义上 但我不是偷 l am, in a way, but l'm not stealing it.
我只是借用一分钟 让他能吃他的饭 之后我就拿回来 l'm just borrowing it for a minute, and letting him eat his meal, then l'll get it back.
我们还要吃甜点 我给他两分钟 然后把叉子拿回来 We're having dessert. l'll give him two minutes, and get back the fork.
我说这就是偷 l call that stealing.
好 我知道是怎么回事了 Okay, I know what this is about.
你失望了 那天我在街上看到你... You're upset, the other day when I saw you on the street...
我没和你停步谈 and I didn't do a little stop-and-chat.
你知道的 我不擅长这种刻意寒暄 You know what, l'm not good at artificial small talk.
-"你好 你怎么样"这种事 - 我不知道你在说什么 -''Hello, how are you?'' kind of thing. -l don't know what you're talking about.
- 你能在这里等着吗? - 什么?你要干什么? -Could you wait right there? -What? What are you doing?
我要报警 l'm gonna call the police.
你的审判在西洛杉矶市政法庭 You'll be appearing at the West Los Angeles municipal court.
- 卡茨 - 那建筑不错 -Judge Katz. -That's a lovely building.
- 对 你会喜欢的 - 请在这里签名 -Yeah, you're gonna like that. -lf you could sign right here, please.
好吧 这么一看的话... All right, I guess in hindsight...
我可能就应该让这家伙用手吃 l probably should've let the guy eat with his hands.
这么做就对了 是吧? That would've been the better thing to do, right?
让他吃的满脸都是... Just have him get it all over his face...
然后让狗来把他舔干净 and have dogs come up maybe and lick it off him.
我那么做就对了 That's really what I should've done.
先生 你可以在卡茨法官面前随意陈述案情 Sir, you'll have every opportunity to present your case to Judge Katz.
- 开庭时间在后边 - 好 -The court date is on the back. -Okay.
- 祝你晚上愉快 - 嗯 你也是 非常感谢 -And you have a good evening. -Yes, you, too, thank you very much.
哦 天啊 司机 完了 我完全忘了 Oh, God, the driver. Shit, I completely forgot.
我真的很抱歉 l am so sorry.
我拿了叉子 那家伙抓到我拿叉子出门... l had the fork, and the guy caught me taking the fork out of the restaurant...
他就报警了 and he called the police.
- 我得去见法官! - 没事的 我没事 谢了 -l have to go before a judge! -Don't worry about it, l'm okay, thanks.
- 菜你吃了吗? - 没 我回家路上找点吃的 -Did you eat the food? -No, l'll get something on the way home.
- 别操心了 我没事 - 我很抱歉 -Don't worry about it, l'm good. -l'm sorry.
那我下周再给你打电话? So l'll maybe call you next week?
- 那太棒了 谢谢你 - 不客气 -That was great, thank you. -You're welcome.
不好意思 Excuse me.
我很抱歉 我知道听上去很怪 我只是... l'm sorry, I know this sounds strange. I just....
你有星星的纹身吗? Do you have a tattoo of a star?
你怎么知道的? How did you know that?
- 我能不能 - 好 在我手臂上 太神了 -Can I just... -Yeah, on my arm, that's wild.
谢丽儿 你干什么呢? Cheryl, what are you doing?
拉里? Larry?
处理拉里大卫案件 请记录大卫先生到场 ln the matter of Larry David, the record reflect the presence of Mr. David.
本案在此判决 This case is here for sentencing.
大卫先生 我判决前你是否有话要讲? Mr. David, you wish to be heard before I impose sentence on you?
是的 卡茨法官 请允许我说"安息日 平安" Yes, Judge Katz. And may I say, ''Shabbat shalom. ''
发生的事仅仅是我想... What happened is simply that I was trying to...
把叉子带给一个工薪阶层 bring a fork to a working man...
那是个司机 一个豪车司机... who was a driver, a limousine driver...
他有晚饭了 但他没有叉子吃不了饭... and he had dinner, but he did not have a fork to eat it....
我只是想给他拿叉子和纸巾... All I was did was attempted to bring him a fork and a napkin...
这样他就无需用手吃饭 把饭弄到脸上和衣服上了 so he wouldn't have to eat with his hands and get it all over his face and clothing.
而仅是出自一些餐厅主管... And it was only out of some personal animus...
对我的私人恩怨 就因为我在街上碰到他的时候 that the restaurateur had toward me because I ran into him on the street...
我没停下来和他谈两句 and I didn't stop and have a little chat with him.
你懂的 我不喜欢在街上和别人寒暄 You know, I don't like to make little chit-chat on the street.
我喜欢和人真正的交谈 l like to have a real conversation with people.
你说的很动人 在我看来故事中表示... lt's touching what you tell me. lt seems to me there was an indication...
你会在无论何时做自己想做的事... that you were gonna do what you wanted, when you wanted...
就因为你想 就因为你是名人... because you feel because of your celebrity...
不知为何你就能做事不顾结果 somehow you can do things without consequences.
大卫先生 我需要你的帮助 Mr. David, I need your help in this.
明显 罚款是不会有用的 Obviously, a fine isn't going to do anything.
那对你什么都不是 你有太多钱了 lt just won't mean anything to you, you have too much money.
那你认为本庭需要怎么做才能让大众理解... So, what do you expect this court to do for the public to understand...
我没有对你特殊对待呢? l'm not according you any special treatment?
可以在周六早上去寺庙工作... l could work at the temple on Saturday mornings...
分发披巾和小帽 hand out tallises and yarmulkes.
你觉得这是惩罚吗?这不应是愉悦的吗? And you think this is a fitting punishment? lsn't it a joy?
您一定知道 寺庙的活可能很繁重 Temple can be quite grueling, as you well know.
知道吗 大卫先生 我思考了这件事 You know, Mr. David, l've been thinking about this.
你知道我要怎么做吗? And you know what l'm gonna do?
我要给你一个会让你... l'm gonna give you a sentence that will guarantee...
绝不 绝不再犯的判决 that you will never, ever do this again.
“我从餐厅偷叉子”
我向天发誓 我没说谎 l swear to God, l'm not lying.
嗨 拉里 Hi, Larry.
我没有打我妻子 l didn't beat my wife.
虾好吃吗 艾尔? How's the shrimp, Al?
那家中餐馆的虾你吃的开心吗? Are you enjoying the shrimp from the Chinese restaurant?
晚上好 Evening.
那是我裤子里的水瓶 That was a water bottle in my pants.
是一个水瓶! A water bottle!
给《谁想当百万富翁》的一道好题： Here's a good question for Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.:
"哪个蠢货管着ABC？" ''What idiot runs ABC?''
但我不会... But l'm not gonna....
说来话长 lt's a long story.
我是想帮助一个司机 一个工薪阶层... l was trying to help a driver, a working man...
这样他就不用拿手吃... so he wouldn't have to eat with his hands...
CBS大小姐 Miss CBS bigwig.
翻译:白羽黑鹭 英语字幕来源：tvsubtitles.net